Heralded as one of the greatest horror films of all time and a staple amongst fans' top ten lists, George Romero's Dawn Of The Dead is scary for any number of reasons. But as I watched this film for the 5000th time this past weekend, it occurred to me that there is another, more subconscious feeling of terror that this film lays upon me, as I am sure it does other men.
I'll cut to the chase. Flyboy (no need for explanation, fans already know characters, plot, etc), this skinny little twerp who has problems firing even the smallest gun correctly is trapped inside of a mall with his baby mama and a black guy. Not just some black guy either, this isn't Urkel. PETER! (played by Ken Foree) is a big pro-wrestler looking son of a bitch who has no trouble firing a huge gun and never missing his target. Following me? I mean the guy's name is Flyboy for crying out loud, obviously nobody respects him or his abilities, even his tramp of a girlfriend who appears sexually frustrated.
If this were me, somebody would be zombie chow. There's no way I could survive the apocalypse trapped between a broad who thinks I'm a lame and a gigantic black penis, it just couldn't work. This is one horror film where it should have been obvious that the black guy die first. If for nothing more than peace of mind. It's like, at that point Flyboy's high-maintenance girlfriend would have no choice but to put up with his unsatisfying swerve techniques. Next time she is lying in bed next to him with that cold-ass look making him feel insecure, he can just say, "Oh you can do better?" And since it is the end of the world and he is the only warm body left with a working man member, she really can't.
Not that any of this is Peter's fault, he basically spends the whole movie looking bored at the prospect of having to smash another snow bunny. By the end of the movie he is so disturbed over the idea, that he even contemplates blowing his brains out and having his body gnarled on by zombies before eventually coming to accept that in a society void of living females, having a white woman who is obviously in heat at his disposal isn't all that bad of a thing. We all know
what happened inside of that helicopter after they flew off of that building.
I know horror fans and Dawn Of The Dead purists will cringe at everything I just wrote, but I am just saying. Romero is a smart guy and a socially conscious one at that. Maybe he was trying to pull on some internal strings that we would be too insecure to say out loud but knew awkwardly we'd be thinking about. The scariest thing inside of that mall wasn't the zombies.
Showing posts with label rob zombie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rob zombie. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
My 10 Favorite Films of the "00"
Freddy Got Fingered - Arguably the worst film in the history of celluloid. Incoherent, stupid, amateurish, repulsive and absolutely brilliant. Me and my friends used to spend twelve hours a night at work quoting this movie. You just cant beat watching Tom Green suck off a horse, dancing around in the corpse of roadkill before getting smashed by a truck, working in a cheese sandwich factory with a sausage between his legs and Rip Torn as his psychotic father. This movie is an underrated masterpiece and I will stand by that claim.
Bowling For Columbine - Michael Moore's inflammatory masterpiece about America's obsession with gun violence. Possibly the most debated film of all time and certainly one of the most controversial. Regardless of how one feels about Moore's politics there is no denying the mans skill behind the camera. My only complaint about this film is the unfair villifying of Charleton Heston (one of my favorite actors, btw) but at the same time it is Moore's willingness to be unfriendly that makes his films so good. For a movie so widely hated, Moore has managed to spawn a generation of bastard documentary filmmakers bent on biting his unique style, even his enemies have a bit of Moore's influence in their works.
There Will Be Blood - This film makes no apologies about being a hardcore viewing experience. Daniel Day Lewis is incredible as a hillbilly oil man climbing the ranks by any means necessary. DDL reminds me kind of a modern day DeNiro. He is selective about his roles and his appearance in front of the camera lends credibility to any film he is apart of. Paul Thomas Anderson proves himself once again as one of this generations definitive filmmakers.
Kill Bill - I know this selection will be a controversial pick amongst fanboy circles. But let me say this, any film featuring the likes of David Carradine, Sonny Chiba, Gordon Liu, Michael Madsen, Sid Haig, Bo Svenson and other assorted genre favorites along with a score crafted by none other then legendary hip hop producer / founder of The Wu-Tang Clan, The Rza, has to be good. Tarantino wears his fandom on his sleeve and I appreciate that. I was hooked on this movie the second I heard Nancy Sinatra's Bang Bang in the opening credits.
Inglorious Basterds - Tarantino again and possibly his best film to date. Everything about this picture is beautiful even when it is ugly. An obvious love letter to the likes of Sergio Leone, so much so that I could have sworn that one of the songs was just a rendition of the theme from The Good The Bad And The Ugly. Brad Pitt is awesome as the leader of the Basterds and proves once again that he is much more then tabloid fodder.
Million Dollar Baby - Clint Eastwood is one of my favorite filmmakers cause I know anything he makes is going to be top notch. Controversial in its subject matter, Million Dollar Baby manages to be entertaining and completely depressing at the same time.
Grand Torino - I have a love / hate relationship with this one. Eastwood delivers on all fronts basically paying homage to himself and giving the fans one last look at the type of character we love him for. At the same time the dialogue is weak and the supporting cast is bland and typical. The acting is almost laughable, especially the church guy. At the same time, the film pulls itself together, mainly thanks to Eastwood and by the time the credits role you realize you have just witnessed something great.
OldBoy - Soon to be remade (or rumored to be) by crud peddlers Steven Spielberg and Will Smith. Old Boy is a poetic revenge film with a grindhouse attitude and visually looks and feels like Fight Club (least that's what it reminded me of). I could have done without the occasional bits of CGI but that is a minor flaw. Bone crushing, blood gushing, flesh pounding fun with a little bit of heart.
Shottas - Starring a who's who of Jamaican celebs and directed by an amatuer filmmaker who refuses to spill the beans about how he afforded to fund this film, Shottas is a throw back to films like The Harder They Come with homage's to such classics as Scarface, The Killer and Belly. Although a little weak in spots, Shottas is just what the doctor ordered for those that enjoy these types of films.
The Devil's Rejects - Like a few other films on this list, The Devils Rejects is short on originality and strong on paying tribute to better films of yesterday. Ripping off scenes from everything from The Guantlet to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Rob Zombie manages to stay much more focused this time around and gives us some of modern horrors most beloved villains. Even though I think it is unfair to label such a film as horror, more like a suspense thriller or something. It's a tragedy Zombie has strayed so far from his roots and sold out to the Hollywood remake machine, following up with awful Halloween movies. I still think he has the potential to be the next John Carpenter but only time will tell. In the mean time atleast we have Rejects to hold us over.
Honorable mentions that could have made my top 10 list: Idiocracy, Fahrenheit 911, The Passion Of The Christ, Monster, Punisher: War Zone, Jackass, Team America, Borat, The Hangover, Iron Man, The Dark Knight, Once Upon A Time In Mexico, Blade 2, X-Men 2, Planet Terror, 28 Days Later, Mystic River, Hostel, Freddy Vs. Jason (yeah, I said it) JCVD, Land Of The Dead and probably a hundred more that I've forgotten and will probably remember shortly after submitting this issue.
Bowling For Columbine - Michael Moore's inflammatory masterpiece about America's obsession with gun violence. Possibly the most debated film of all time and certainly one of the most controversial. Regardless of how one feels about Moore's politics there is no denying the mans skill behind the camera. My only complaint about this film is the unfair villifying of Charleton Heston (one of my favorite actors, btw) but at the same time it is Moore's willingness to be unfriendly that makes his films so good. For a movie so widely hated, Moore has managed to spawn a generation of bastard documentary filmmakers bent on biting his unique style, even his enemies have a bit of Moore's influence in their works.
There Will Be Blood - This film makes no apologies about being a hardcore viewing experience. Daniel Day Lewis is incredible as a hillbilly oil man climbing the ranks by any means necessary. DDL reminds me kind of a modern day DeNiro. He is selective about his roles and his appearance in front of the camera lends credibility to any film he is apart of. Paul Thomas Anderson proves himself once again as one of this generations definitive filmmakers.
Kill Bill - I know this selection will be a controversial pick amongst fanboy circles. But let me say this, any film featuring the likes of David Carradine, Sonny Chiba, Gordon Liu, Michael Madsen, Sid Haig, Bo Svenson and other assorted genre favorites along with a score crafted by none other then legendary hip hop producer / founder of The Wu-Tang Clan, The Rza, has to be good. Tarantino wears his fandom on his sleeve and I appreciate that. I was hooked on this movie the second I heard Nancy Sinatra's Bang Bang in the opening credits.
Inglorious Basterds - Tarantino again and possibly his best film to date. Everything about this picture is beautiful even when it is ugly. An obvious love letter to the likes of Sergio Leone, so much so that I could have sworn that one of the songs was just a rendition of the theme from The Good The Bad And The Ugly. Brad Pitt is awesome as the leader of the Basterds and proves once again that he is much more then tabloid fodder.
Million Dollar Baby - Clint Eastwood is one of my favorite filmmakers cause I know anything he makes is going to be top notch. Controversial in its subject matter, Million Dollar Baby manages to be entertaining and completely depressing at the same time.
Grand Torino - I have a love / hate relationship with this one. Eastwood delivers on all fronts basically paying homage to himself and giving the fans one last look at the type of character we love him for. At the same time the dialogue is weak and the supporting cast is bland and typical. The acting is almost laughable, especially the church guy. At the same time, the film pulls itself together, mainly thanks to Eastwood and by the time the credits role you realize you have just witnessed something great.
OldBoy - Soon to be remade (or rumored to be) by crud peddlers Steven Spielberg and Will Smith. Old Boy is a poetic revenge film with a grindhouse attitude and visually looks and feels like Fight Club (least that's what it reminded me of). I could have done without the occasional bits of CGI but that is a minor flaw. Bone crushing, blood gushing, flesh pounding fun with a little bit of heart.
Shottas - Starring a who's who of Jamaican celebs and directed by an amatuer filmmaker who refuses to spill the beans about how he afforded to fund this film, Shottas is a throw back to films like The Harder They Come with homage's to such classics as Scarface, The Killer and Belly. Although a little weak in spots, Shottas is just what the doctor ordered for those that enjoy these types of films.
The Devil's Rejects - Like a few other films on this list, The Devils Rejects is short on originality and strong on paying tribute to better films of yesterday. Ripping off scenes from everything from The Guantlet to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Rob Zombie manages to stay much more focused this time around and gives us some of modern horrors most beloved villains. Even though I think it is unfair to label such a film as horror, more like a suspense thriller or something. It's a tragedy Zombie has strayed so far from his roots and sold out to the Hollywood remake machine, following up with awful Halloween movies. I still think he has the potential to be the next John Carpenter but only time will tell. In the mean time atleast we have Rejects to hold us over.
Honorable mentions that could have made my top 10 list: Idiocracy, Fahrenheit 911, The Passion Of The Christ, Monster, Punisher: War Zone, Jackass, Team America, Borat, The Hangover, Iron Man, The Dark Knight, Once Upon A Time In Mexico, Blade 2, X-Men 2, Planet Terror, 28 Days Later, Mystic River, Hostel, Freddy Vs. Jason (yeah, I said it) JCVD, Land Of The Dead and probably a hundred more that I've forgotten and will probably remember shortly after submitting this issue.
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